River Bend Road Trip

The Empresses took their show on the road last week:  to Harbour Town in River Bend.

Back row:  Empresses. Front row: Harbour Townies.

Now, this was a little like the American Revolution: the upstart, unsophisticated Yankees taking on the Redcoats.  I mean, they do spell "harbor" the British way, so the parallel isn't really that preposterous, is it? (Give H. T. credit, though, for not going overboard and spelling it as "Towne.")

Harbour Town is, Dear Readers, a real "racquet club," not the meager offshoot of a golf club, like our own Emerald Empire.

A real Racquet Club.

Not only that, but the web site describes the Harbour Town members as "extremely charismatic."  Seriously.

This certainly laid down the gauntlet for the Empresses, who consider themselves about as charismatic as you can get without a license.

It was noted afterward by a few of the Empresses that the Harbour Town court surfaces were not up to par (no pun intended). Nonetheless, the  amenities were dazzling.  There was shrubbery.  There were hanging baskets of genteel Southern blossoms on the porch of the H.T. clubhouse, where you could sit and rock in genteel Southern rocking chairs.  Courtside, there were picnic tables that were not falling apart. These tables were shaded with colorful market umbrellas.

Amenities!

Steps away, there was an ice machine.  Harbour Town tennis players have their very own ice machine! 

(The Emerald tennis hut does have a clock, donated by Empress Lora, but gosh, no ice machine.  We have to share with golfers.)

The expression on a statue welcoming the visiting team to the Playing Fields of Harbour Town seemed to capture the stunned, kid-in-a-candy-store feeling that at least one of the Empresses experienced in the glamorous surroundings.

"Gee whiz!  Umbrellas and an ice machine."

And, to further intimidate the humbled Empresses, the chain link fence surrounding Harbour Town's courts was embellished with placards proudly proclaiming the prowess of its distinguished members, who had achieved greatness in league and tournament play over many years.

Don't the Friendly Hosts look somewhat intimidated by Empress Evelyn? They must know she was the Champion of the Emerald's Spring Fling. 

So, would the Empresses be not only out-classed, but also out-played, by their Friendly Hosts? Were they lambs going to slaughter?  Indeed, was this why vultures were sighted circling overhead in the Carolina blue sky as the Empresses arrived at Harbour Town? Or, were the vultures there because it was about 94 degrees out with 94 percent humidity?  Would all--Empresses and H.Town-folk alike--be defeated by heat exhaustion before the outcome of the Big Match could be decided?

This oppressive weather caused Empress Pat to say immediately, and mirthlessly, as she got out of her car in the Emerald parking lot, "Are we crazy, or what?" before Empress Evelyn graciously drove the team to River Bend.

Although Empress Nancy, who had arranged the competition, was ultimately and unfortunately unable to participate (bigger fish to fry, no doubt), she had worked out a line-up of partners and opponents for the first round.  Intrepid and eager, the Empresses took their places and started playing.  And boy, were they on their toes!...

...and completely in synch.

Dancing With The Stars?

It was so hot that a couple of the Empresses were tempted to expose
as much flesh as possible to fresh air, while still maintaining dignity, sort of.

Yes, it was so hot that one Empress was sorely distracted when a Gentleman of Harbour Town, having finished his daily tasks 'round the place, sat himself down in one of the clubhouse rockers with an ice-cold Bud Lite.  Was this a slyly pre-arranged decoy, a temptation meant to sabotage the game of any Empress with a taste for beer on a blistering afternoon?  At least, This Writer can blame any unforced errors on this distraction.  (And maybe also this distraction, this power of suggestion, may account for an Empress' indulgence, at dinner, in a second Lord Chesterfield (naturally HarboUr Town would have "Lord Chesterfield" on tap).

Alas, there is no record of the scores on that fateful day.  But the Empresses held their own, as can be seen in their assertive style and impeccable form on alien turf.

Fortunately, the H. Town-folk had arranged for the Empresses to join them for an elegant dinner at the River Bend clubhouse at six o'clock.  Empress Judy jumped for joy at that news.

"Hooray!  Time for dinner!"

She must have been particularly hungry, but everyone enjoyed sustenance and--at last--beverages, in air-conditioned comfort, celebrating, if not domination of the courts, then at least rescue from heat stroke.

Best of all, a few members of the Visiting Team made purchases in the River Bend pro shop, which featured charming flexi-banded visors--the Crown of Choice for the Empresses.  Nothing like shopping to make an Empress' defeat less bitter, or an Empress' victory sweeter.

The Empresses thank the Harbour Town players for a fine time on the courts. We hope there will be another opportunity to play with and against each other soon.